Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I hate that you’ve felt the need to harm yourself this way, even if, as you put it, you ‘gave up’ on the overdose. You are better than your pain, your scars, you past. Even if you don’t see it, you are beautiful and you deserve help. My best advice would be to seek that help. Tell your mother. She loves you no matter what, and you are too beautiful and alive to fight this thing on your own. I can’t tell you how to ‘stop’ the feelings, but I can teach you how to deal with them. The first step is being brave enough to reach out. There are people out there who care, people out there that can and want to help you- even if you can’t see it.
Recovery can be painful and it’s a long road- but life is so worth it. As terrible and bleak as it can seem, life is also beautiful. It is a beauty that cannot be experienced from the grave. Life was made to be lived.
As for your mother, just tell her what happened. It will be painful, but when you’re in a situation such as this, honesty is always the best policy. Please, reach out.
Know that I love you.
Because you’re whort being threted like a first priority